Ezra

Some of you may have read my post about a young boy named Ezra who was fighting cancer (Neuroblastoma).  I provided a link to his families blog to spread the word that this beautiful boy needed prayers.  If you followed their blog, you probably noticed that he passed away a few weeks ago.  I just watched his "celebration of life" service that they posted on his blog (http://www.thematthewsstory.com/) , and after watching the video, felt compelled to reflect on my thoughts:

First of all, I have been so touched by the strength Ezra's family showed during this fight.  Their faith was so evident and they never gave up.  I have to ask myself, would I be that strong if Joseph were to ever go through such an awful situation like that? Could I carry myself with such grace?  I pray that I would.  It has made me examine my own faith in God.  What am I doing to make sure that when times are tough I won't lose touch with my faith.  I once lost a good friend in high school and for awhile I gave up on my faith.  I was mad at God and couldn't understand how he could let something so evil happen.  Later I realized that God was not the evil, it is the world that is evil, but I don't ever want to go through a time where I blame God.  Instead, I need to make him the most important person in my life, so instead of blaming Him,  I can lean on Him.  When I wake up in the morning, He should be the first person I talk to, when I am happy or sad, He should be first person I tell.  So what does this mean?  I need to make some changes in my life, and start really priortizing my prayer life, so that my faith will not be shaken if my "perfect" little world comes falling down.

The second thing Ezra has made me think about is how much I love my children.  Don't get me wrong....I LOVE my son Joseph and my daughter (name still unknown).  In fact, I can't imagine loving them more than I do right now, but, before I read about Ezra, I was failing to appreciate the little things Joey did.  I was allowing myself to get annoyed when he was "fussy" or "cranky."  I was upset when he wouldn't take his nap, especially because I needed one too.  Then, Ezra came into my life, and I realized that his parents would do anything to have a "missed nap" be the worst thing in Ezra's life.  So instead of finding the negative in my day, I am doing my best to find humor and joy in the little mishaps of my day with my son, who is healthy, happy, and the most beautiful thing in my life.  Instead of getting frustrated when he is cranky, I just snuggle him and kiss him until he giggles away his whines.  You see, I have the ability to love him with a Christ like love, and this realization has changed me as a mom.

Finally, I have begun to ask myself, what am I doing for others?  How am I spreading Christ's love to the people in my life?  Am I taking time to serve and to love others?  Where could I be using my gifts in my community?  I haven't exactly solved this question yet, but it has made me realize that I could be more generous with my time.  I have many activities (such as browsing the internet, watching tv, etc) that I could give up to free up my time.  I understand that my vocation is to be a mom and wife, but I also know I can find ways to give of my time to help others.  I will need to bring this to prayer and find where God is leading me.

As stated in his memorial service, Ezra was only alive for 800 days, but in that short time he gave of himself to others and spread so much love.  I pray that God will help me to follow in this young man's example and give to others, at least a fraction of what Ezra gave to me and thousand of others.  If you haven't already, I recommend you taking time to read about Ezra through his families blog.  I guarantee his story will CHANGE your life!