Letting Go

Letting go.   Those words have not always been easy for me to say or do.  I like to be in control of my life and my plans.  When things get interrupted my natural response is to be frustrated.  This past year with 3 children and one on the way, I have had to learn that I cannot have any clear expectations of how my day might go.  I can do my best to plan but I am learning that I need to surrender myself to the moment and accept the things thrown my way.  For example:

I may think I will get all 7 loads of clothes washed, cleaned, and folded by the end of the day, but most likely I will get 5 loads done and at the end of the day they will be piled high on my couch because a certain 1 year old needed me to sit down and put the same puzzle piece on her puzzle over and over again.  At the end of the day I have to say to myself....Let it go!

I may have great plans to make a big dinner and have the house clean when my husband gets home, but in reality we may be eating baked chicken and canned green beans again because that same baby needed me to read the first three pages of 10 different books to her and to be held all day.  Again, at the end of the day I have to say to myself....Let it go!

I may lesson plan the rest of the month and have great goals to organize my house, but then a huge wind storm shuts out most of the cities power and we suddenly have 9 children and 6 adults living in our house for up to a week.  Again, at the end of the day I have to say to myself....Let it go!

None of these examples are bad situations.  In the end I was able to spend time with my children and help and serve family and friends.  Did I accomplish everything I thought I needed to do?  Probably not, and that is where the letting go part comes in.  I'm slowly realizing that God's plan for my life doesn't always include making sure MY plans workout.  Instead, He wants me to grow in patience, love, understanding, mercy, compassion, and faithfulness.  Sometimes, he has to teach me those things by forcing me to surrender my plan and accepting His plan for each moment, each day, each week, each month....etc.

 Checklists, goals, and plans can be good, but only if they bring you closer to Christ.  If at the end of the day I accomplished everything on my to do list, but never spent time in prayer with God, I yelled at my children for silly things, and failed to notice the blessings in my life then have I really had a successful day?  As a follower of Christ, I am called to respond with love in all circumstances.  Not an easy task, but I'm learning the more I pray and the less I fight each new interruption and accept them as opportunities to grow in virtue, the more joy I feel. 

Lord, help me to let go of my desires and my plans and allow you to work through me in my life.